So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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