Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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