it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
