My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
