You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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