I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
