wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
