I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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