I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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