There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
