so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
