Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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