When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
