Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
