Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
