I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
