My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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