Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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