Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...

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  (832): Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it... http://tfl.nu/2lrl
  Replies (9) Good night (665) Bad night (3750)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.

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  (425): Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie. http://tfl.nu/fd6n
  Replies (228) Good night (2495) Bad night (4601)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.

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  (231): Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it. http://tfl.nu/ct5c
  Replies (8) Good night (4508) Bad night (572)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...

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  (250): he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom... http://tfl.nu/aduc
  Replies (80) Good night (1089) Bad night (6476)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...

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  (802): my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night... http://tfl.nu/tx5p
  Replies (14) Good night (5805) Bad night (1269)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  when I sang my humps to you I meant it.

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  (419): when I sang my humps to you I meant it. http://tfl.nu/9lvg
  Replies (2) Good night (3427) Bad night (806)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.

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  (804): French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops. http://tfl.nu/0hfd
  Replies (5) Good night (2175) Bad night (727)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that

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  (541): She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that http://tfl.nu/pcsr
  Replies (6) Good night (538) Bad night (1154)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her

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  (856): and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her http://tfl.nu/d5zb
  Replies (2) Good night (1692) Bad night (598)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Way to ruin everything

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid

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  (614): Way to ruin everything (304): I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid http://tfl.nu/wv46
  Replies (5) Good night (1631) Bad night (583)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.

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  (612): Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all. http://tfl.nu/jmi7
  Replies (1) Good night (807) Bad night (865)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs

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  (727): You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs http://tfl.nu/7zsc
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE

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  (425): I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE http://tfl.nu/sn9a
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (578)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?

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  (410): Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek? http://tfl.nu/uirj
  Replies (3) Good night (308) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.

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  (651): Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf. http://tfl.nu/d6io
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (258)

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