Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.

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  (512): the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like. http://tfl.nu/1vno
  Replies (18) Good night (2004) Bad night (757)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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  (801): We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move." http://tfl.nu/deqa
  Replies (33) Good night (4508) Bad night (613)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.

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  (303): Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming. http://tfl.nu/sem8
  Replies (41) Good night (788) Bad night (4482)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.

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  (770): I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/qalv
  Replies (14) Good night (865) Bad night (4330)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal

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  (937): Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal http://tfl.nu/rcec
  Replies (25) Good night (4884) Bad night (1922)
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  (212): View more from New York

  it was like a zeppelin in a condom

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  (212): it was like a zeppelin in a condom http://tfl.nu/vkzf
  Replies (27) Good night (4274) Bad night (1090)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why

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  (507): I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why http://tfl.nu/wixc
  Replies (6) Good night (2506) Bad night (862)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.

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  (304): The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man. http://tfl.nu/dffi
  Replies (17) Good night (829) Bad night (2476)
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  (925): View more from California

  He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.

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  (925): He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept. http://tfl.nu/niyr
  Replies (23) Good night (3263) Bad night (641)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.

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  (912): Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well. http://tfl.nu/02op
  Replies (4) Good night (1344) Bad night (483)
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  (415): View more from California

  White people are beatboxing! Save me.

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  (415): White people are beatboxing! Save me. http://tfl.nu/ywqe
  Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (1085)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?

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  (479): Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion? http://tfl.nu/7a2v
  Replies (21) Good night (1697) Bad night (626)
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  (408): View more from California

  We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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  (408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (318)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.

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  (+44): Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off. http://tfl.nu/1dmr
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (213)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you fail at everything in life besides blacking out

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  (513): you fail at everything in life besides blacking out http://tfl.nu/frqk
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (258)

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