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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.

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• (951): View more from California

  I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask

  Fav 11 4913 946

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• (425): View more from Washington

  You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex

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• (516): View more from New York

  Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Americans.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  My farts smell like burning tires and false courage

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  My ass is in a myriad of pain right now

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea

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