Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk

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(352): I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk http://tfl.nu/lbo9

Replies (7) Good night (3033) Bad night (679)
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(206): View more from Washington

I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.

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(206): I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship. http://tfl.nu/9mk5

Replies (40) Good night (3584) Bad night (1070)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose

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(717): she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose http://tfl.nu/p9h0

Replies (32) Good night (13273) Bad night (889)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.

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(412): I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not. http://tfl.nu/jtsf

Replies (14) Good night (7676) Bad night (895)
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(254): View more from Texas

Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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(254): Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop. http://tfl.nu/r5qk

Replies (7) Good night (1758) Bad night (984)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.

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(662): There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up. http://tfl.nu/6xku

Replies (4) Good night (1874) Bad night (929)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.

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(973): Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often. http://tfl.nu/x0j2

Replies (0) Good night (1676) Bad night (690)
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(408): View more from California

who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am

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(408): who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am http://tfl.nu/787a

Replies (13) Good night (2579) Bad night (905)
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(+61): View more from Australia

And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?

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(+61): And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up? http://tfl.nu/g9ke

Replies (19) Good night (715) Bad night (1780)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.

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(864): We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom. http://tfl.nu/8ad4

Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (754)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.

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(303): I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now. http://tfl.nu/8ew5

Replies (7) Good night (420) Bad night (1710)
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(805): View more from California

Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!

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(805): Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well! http://tfl.nu/91dr

Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (325)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick

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(515): Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/oet2

Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (332)
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(319): View more from Iowa

She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.

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(319): She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET. http://tfl.nu/1g2i

Replies (9) Good night (903) Bad night (254)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.

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(267): In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY. http://tfl.nu/1mja

Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (307)

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