I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.