Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
