so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
