Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...