therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.