I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.