If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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