i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
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it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
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body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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