Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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