New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize