either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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