Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
my phone needs a breathalizer
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
