Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i dont even know how to be here
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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