even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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