Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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