I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
