For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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