Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize