My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
