Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
