I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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