My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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