i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
