I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
