last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
