My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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