This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize