the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
