i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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