I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
