Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
