i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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