Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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