I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
