i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
