I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
