I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Pants are for mortals
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
