Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
