You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
