The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think i have two assholes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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