my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
