we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
