if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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