You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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